Date Added: May 2015
Civility and respect. Two words which can make interactions, personal relationships and life much simpler. Yet, these are the cause of many issues.
Poor communication is a common issue with teams and individuals. A root cause is people not treating each other with civility and respect.
This isn’t rocket science. Treat others as you want to be treated. Unfortunately, we all can easily forget this when faced with difficult people. When this occurs, it seems we lack logical thinking, a caring nature, and mutual respect for others.
One example was a team who simply didn’t like each other; and this had been occurring for six months. There were cliques among team members. During interviews, the common theme was, “we work together more than 55 hours per week and I would just like to be treated respectfully.” There were no major, vindictive issues other than this.
The team was surprised to hear this consistent premise and my “consultant” advice was, “Stop doing what you’re doing and listen to yourselves – treat each other respectfully, apologize for anything you’ve done in the past, and say, ‘I’m sorry.’ If you can do this, you’ll be fine.”
Another example involves discussions with illogical people. They agree with your logic throughout the conversation; yet, they seek a win-lose solution. When this is mentioned to them; their uncaring, disrespectful nature rises.
There are eight principles to assist with civility and respect in personal relationships at work or home. Each begins with something we may lack, seek or desire; and how we may be able to provide civility and respect to understand the way we are acting.
We lack spirit, needing to seek discernment and patience when making decisions. We lack emotion, needing empathy and a willingness to show vulnerability when interacting with others.
We seek power and control, needing to display humility when solving issues. We desire credibility, needing integrity to seek win-win solutions. We are unkind; needing to pursue compassion and mercy, trusting that others will do the right thing.
We only think with our heads; needing to have purity in our hearts, thinking of others before ourselves. We desire conflict; and must find peace and be proactive in seeking agreement with others. We are full of fear, needing to discover courage and seek love.
Go back and re-read these eight principles. We are all guilty of doing them because we’re not perfect. However, we need to be fully aware of them; and in doing, we can treat others as we would like to be treated.
Oftentimes, we find ourselves in contradiction with what we should do vs. what we believe others want us to do. We think we are strong, when we’re being weak and lacking in confidence. We want to be on top instead of the humbleness of serving others – knowing this is what actually fills our hearts with genuineness, kindness and grace.
This is a state-of-mind which we have the ability to control. It is a way of living our lives to positively impact others for a greater good other than personal satisfaction.
This is no easy task, especially with Thanksgiving and the holidays quickly approaching and life being so busy. It becomes more difficult when we’re surrounded by others who don’t do these things, and it’s easier for us to fall into the trap of acting like them instead of acting how we want to be treated.
Be aware of this during interactions with co-workers and family during the next six weeks; and practice these eight principles. If you can make it through the end of the year, you can sustain into 2015.
Civility and respect are simple. The more people who demonstrate these items and the eight principles above, the more others will follow. I long for the day we all act the way we’re all capable of acting. I believe it would be called heaven – a world with peace and love. Let’s play our role in creating heaven on earth.
David Yeghiaian is committed to leading people to positively impact others and change the world. Reach him at email@example.com.